"Things That Actually Help" Directory

Things That Actually Help (No Affiliate Links, No Spon Con, Just Real Stuff)

These are the apps, books, comfort items, and resources I actually use. Not the ones that look good on Instagram. Not the ones with affiliate codes. Just the things that have genuinely helped me manage anxiety, executive dysfunction, and life in an HMO.

I'll update this page as I find new things. If something here helps you, lovely. If not, leave it. This is a menu, not a prescription.

— Jennie

📱 Apps I Actually Use

Finch

A self-care pet that guilt-trips you into drinking water.
You look after a little bird by looking after yourself. You set small goals (like "get out of bed" or "eat something"), and when you complete them, your bird goes on adventures. It's gentle, cute, and weirdly motivating. It doesn't punish you for bad days. The free version is plenty.

Why it helps: External scaffolding for self-care. The gamification gives my dopamine-starved brain a tiny reward for basic tasks. And the bird is cute. That matters.

Daylio

Mood tracking without writing a single sentence.
You tap an emoji to record how you're feeling, then optionally add activities (like "work," "friends," "cleaning"). Over time, it builds charts showing what activities correlate with good and bad moods. No paragraphs. No journaling. Just data.

Why it helps: I can spot patterns without having to articulate them. When I see that my mood reliably tanks after days with too many social interactions, it helps me plan my energy. It's also satisfying to see a streak of "meh" days slowly shift toward "good."

Tiimo

A visual planner for brains that don't do time.
It's a daily planner that shows your day as a visual timeline. You can set routines (like a morning sequence) that repeat. It has icons for transitions and built-in timers. It's designed for neurodivergent brains, and it shows—no clunky calendar interfaces, just a clear, colourful line of what's happening.

Why it helps: Time blindness is real. Seeing my day laid out visually—with little icons and countdowns—helps me understand how long things take and reduces the "wait, what am I supposed to be doing?" panic.

Insight Timer

Free meditations, no pressure.
Thousands of guided meditations, sleep stories, and ambient soundtracks. The free version is genuinely generous. I use it for breathing exercises, body scans, and sometimes just a calm voice to focus on when my own inner monologue is being a bastard.

Why it helps: When I can't self-regulate, someone else's voice can regulate me. I don't meditate for twenty minutes. I do sixty seconds while the kettle boils. This app doesn't make me feel bad about that.

📚 Books That Made Me Feel Less Alone

Unmasking Autism by Devon Price

The book that cracked me open. Price is an autistic social psychologist who writes about masking—the exhausting performance of "normal" that so many neurodivergent people learn. It's part research, part personal narrative, and it's the first time I saw my own experience reflected clearly. I read it because of Archie, and found myself on every page.

Your Brain's Not Broken by Tamara Rosier

An ADHD book written by a therapist who has ADHD. It's practical, warm, and deeply validating. Rosier explains the emotional side of ADHD—rejection sensitivity, shame, perfectionism—in a way that made me cry with recognition. She also has a fantastic chapter on the "ADHD tax," the extra costs (financial, emotional, temporal) of living with an unaccommodated brain.

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

Heavy but important. This is the book that taught me how trauma lives in the body, and why my nervous system reacts the way it does. It's not a light read—there are hard stories in here—but it gave me a framework for understanding why my body panics even when my mind knows I'm safe. Reader, be gentle with yourself if you pick this one up.

Rest Is Resistance by Tricia Hersey

A manifesto for resting without guilt, written by the founder of The Nap Ministry. Hersey argues that rest is a radical act, particularly for marginalised people who've been told their worth is tied to productivity. This book gave me permission to lie down. Genuinely. I wept reading it.

🛋️ Comfort Items & Sensory Tools

Weighted Blanket

I have two—one for the summer, one for the winter. The deep pressure signals safety to my nervous system. When I wake up at 4am with my heart pounding, pulling the weighted blanket over me is one of the few things that helps. If you can't afford one, even folding a regular blanket a few times and laying it over your chest can approximate the feeling.

Travel Kettle

The single most important item in my HMO survival kit. I keep it in my room so I don't have to navigate the kitchen at night when Mr. A is holding court with his whiskey and aggressive dishwashing. It cost about £15. It's paid for itself a thousand times over in cups of peppermint tea and instant soup. If you share a kitchen and it causes you anxiety, get a travel kettle. Accommodate yourself.

Silicone Earplugs

I use these every night. They block out Mr. M's door slams, Mr. A's late-night kitchen percussion, and the general hum of a house that never fully sleeps. They're soft, mouldable, and more comfortable than foam ones. I can still hear my alarm. I just can't hear the chaos.

Loop Earplugs

For daytime sensory protection. I wear them in the kitchen when I have to be there, or in shops, or anywhere the noise is too much. They don't block everything—just take the edge off. They're discreet enough that people don't notice, which matters when you don't want to explain.

Fidget Ring

A simple silver ring with a spinning outer band. I twist it with my thumb while I'm talking, thinking, or trying not to panic in public. It's jewellery. It's a stim toy. It's both. No one has ever asked me about it.

🎥 YouTube Channels & Podcasts

How to ADHD (YouTube)

Jessica McCabe's channel is the gold standard for ADHD education. She's warm, funny, and deeply researched. Her video on the "Wall of Awful" changed how I understand my own task paralysis. If you're newly diagnosed or self-identified, start here.

The Neurodivergent Woman (Podcast)

Hosted by a clinical psychologist and a neurodivergent woman. It covers ADHD, autism, and the intersection of both with real life—relationships, work, parenting, burnout. It's evidence-based but never clinical. I listen while hiding from my housemates.

Yo Samdy Sam (YouTube)

An autistic creator who makes thoughtful, well-researched videos about autism, ADHD, and late diagnosis. Her video "Autism in Women vs Men" was one of the first things I watched that made me think, "Oh. That's me." She narrates with the calm authority of someone who's done her homework.

Purple Ella (YouTube)

A British creator with ADHD, autism, and hypermobility. She's a mother, a grandmother, and deeply relatable. Her videos on menopause and neurodivergence are especially excellent—two things that are rarely discussed together but affect so many of us.

☎️ Helplines & Crisis Support (UK)

  • Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7, just someone to listen)
  • Shout: Text SHOUT to 85258 (free, 24/7 crisis text line)
  • Anxiety UK: 03444 775 774
  • CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably): 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight)
  • NHS 111: Option 2 for mental health crisis support
  • The National Autistic Society: autism.org.uk (information, support, community)
  • ADHD UK: adhduk.co.uk (information, resources, peer support)

🧠 A Note on Professional Help

This directory is full of things that have helped me—but none of them replace professional support. If you're struggling, please reach out to your GP, a therapist, or one of the helplines above. You deserve proper care. This website is just a supplement.